Dear  Helen

Last week in the Awakening Women Collective, we opened a tender conversation that struck a deep chord: Mother Hunger.

It’s a term coined by therapist Kelly McDaniel to describe the ache we carry when our mothers were unable to fully meet our needs for nurturance, protection, or guidance.

This is not about blaming our mothers. It’s about naming something that often lives unspoken — a longing that can shape how we love, trust, and care for ourselves.

When those early needs go unmet, we may:

• Feel an undercurrent of loneliness, even in relationships

• Confuse romantic love with the mother love we never received

• Over-give, over-achieve, or over-perform in an effort to earn approval

• Carry a quiet shame about being “too needy” or “too much”

In our session, we explored how this ache is not a personality flaw — it’s a nervous system imprint. And because it lives in the body, it often drives our adult choices in ways we don’t consciously realize.

Many women discover that what they’ve been seeking from partners, friends, or even work is really an attempt to soothe this original hunger. And the moment we name it, something shifts — because what we can name, we can nurture.

Healing Mother Hunger isn’t about fixing the past. It’s about:

• Recognizing the patterns it creates in our lives

• Offering ourselves the love and safety we longed for

• Building relationships (with ourselves and others) that honor our needs

• Allowing the parts of us still waiting for “enough” to finally rest

The beauty is this:
You can become the mother you’ve been waiting for.
You can choose to nurture, protect, and guide yourself in the ways you always deserved.

And when you do, the hunger begins to quiet. You feel more at home in your body, more rooted in your worth, and more able to love — without the constant ache of longing.

With love,
Dr. Helen Orombi
Women’s Empowerment & Transformation Coach

ps here is a tapping script to begin to rewire your nervous system around mother hunger 

Karate Chop Point (Setup — Repeat 3x):
Even though I carry this deep ache—this hunger for something I didn’t fully receive from my mother—I honor the truth of how it shaped me, and I’m open to offering myself what I’ve always needed.

Eyebrow: There’s an ache I can’t quite name…
Side of Eye: A longing that’s lived in me for a long time
Under Eye: It’s more than just sadness—it’s hunger
Under Nose: I needed something I didn’t fully get
Chin: I needed to feel loved, safe, and guided
Collarbone: And sometimes I didn’t
Under Arm: That left me feeling not enough
Top of Head: And I’ve been trying to fill that hole ever since

Eyebrow: I tried to earn love through being good
Side of Eye: I over-functioned, over-gave, over-achieved
Under Eye: I chased validation in all the wrong places
Under Nose: I confused romantic love with mother love
Chin: I blamed myself for needing too much
Collarbone: I’ve carried this shame for far too long
Under Arm: And I still feel that ache when I’m alone
Top of Head: Part of me is still that little girl, waiting

Eyebrow: But what if this pain isn’t who I am?
Side of Eye: What if it’s just a reflection of what was missing?
Under Eye: What if I don’t have to keep chasing it anymore?
Under Nose: Maybe I can start offering that love to myself
Chin: Maybe I can mother the parts of me still waiting
Collarbone: I’m open to seeing this pain with compassion
Under Arm: And giving myself the care I’ve always deserved
Top of Head: I’m open to healing this hunger

Eyebrow: I am learning how to nurture myself with love
Side of Eye: I am allowed to feel safe in my own body
Under Eye: I offer myself the guidance I once longed for
Under Nose: I am building a relationship with myself that heals
Chin: I honor the woman I am becoming
Collarbone: One breath, one choice, one act of love at a time
Under Arm: I can reparent the parts of me that still ache
Top of Head: I am no longer waiting—I am rising

Eyebrow: I am whole, even with what was missing
Side of Eye: I am safe to receive the love I offer myself
Under Eye: I am reclaiming what was mine all along
Under Nose: I am the mother I’ve been waiting for
Chin: I honor my story, and I choose to heal
Collarbone: I am loved, I am worthy, I am home
Under Arm: My healing is a gift to all who came before me
Top of Head: And a blessing to all who will come after me