Welcome to April SisterQueen Helen

 

Today I thought I'd share a little bit  vulnerably about what's been going on with me and why I was MIA the last 3 weeks of March. 

 

Where do I begin? At the beginning of the year I always choose a word and my word was unleashed. I wanted to become the most unleashed, on fire version of myself. Little did I know that when I set that intention I would be un-manifesting a lot of things that no longer served me.

 

In February I “happened” to come across a book called Trust Your Vibes by Sonia Choquette. It's all about learning to cultivate and trust your intuition. At the end of February my intuition told me I needed to release some past traumas and hurt that I had not completed releasing from my system and that I needed to have a session with one of my soul sisters Shannon who is a shaman and healer.  I emailed her and had a 2 hour session with her on March 1st.

 

During my session with Shannon I was able to reconnect to the 7 year version of me who experienced war and my 10 year self that lost her sister. I had done some grief work with the 10 year version of me but my 7 year old self was a blindspot. Together Shannon and I were able to “ rescue” or “unburden” my 7 year self of the trauma that was frozen in her system. 

 

Then my intuition suggested I read another book called Mother Hunger by Kelly McDaniels which is all about how Adult Daughters Can Understand and Heal from Lost Nurturance, Protection, and Guidance that they didnt get from their mom growing up. Reading and working through this book gave me language to understand and heal some of my hurt around my relationship with my own mother. We are all imperfect people who knowingly or unknowingly can hurt those we are in relationship with. 

 

Doing this work was the hardest because we are all born to be loyal to our parents which gets in the way of naming, honoring and moving through the hurt and pain. Furthermore the parents we had as kids may not be the same parents we have today because some of them, if still alive, may have evolved. They may have done their healing work and are better people now. 

The interesting thing is that our biology carries our biography, says author Caroline Myss. 

 

So I spent March releasing whatever biography that no longer served me from my biology. It was hard, I took the last week of March off just to give myself the space, love and attention I needed to go through everything.

One of the tools I have in my toolkit is EFT tapping which was incredibly helpful in moving stuck energy and trauma from my system.

 

So where am I now with my healing journey?  I am now in the part called integration and maintaining harmony within my internal family system. To do this bit of the work another book “ fell” into my hands called  No Bad Parts by Richard C. Schwartz. Integration is the goal of a particular kind of therapeutic practice called Internal Family Systems ( IFS) developed by Richard C. Schwartz

 

Essentially according to this framework, we all have parts to us- 

  • Exiles- parts of the psyche that hold onto painful emotions, memories, or experiences. Exiles are often pushed into the background of consciousness because they contain emotions that are too overwhelming or distressing for the individual to handle.
  • Managers- Managers are parts of the psyche that try to maintain control and protect the individual from experiencing the pain held by the exiles.
  • Firefighters are parts of the psyche that emerge in response to overwhelming emotions or situations..
  • The Self: The Self is considered the core essence of the individual in IFS therapy. 

The goal of IFS is to liberate the parts from the roles they have been playing; restore trust in the SELF and Self-leadership; Reharmonize the inner system and become more Self-led in your dealing with the outer world.

 

My 7 and 10 year selves were some of my exiles. My managerial behaviors to keep my exiles in check were: perfectionism, self-criticism, rigid adherence to rules or routines, and overachievement to maintain a sense of control and avoid vulnerability. My firefighter behaviors were binge-eating and in the past I would use alcohol. 

 

 Now having released the traumas of the 7 and 10 year old selves I am integrating them to my core self- Queenmaker and finding new roles for the parts of me that were managers and firefighters.

 

Why did I share my story? Well for accountability, I wanted to let you know what I have been up to.  

Secondly I wanted to share what's possible and also for you to get to know me a bit more-

This FLAWSOME HUMAN 🙂

 

If you made it this far thank you!

 

Be magnificent SisterQueen

Xoxo

Dr. Helena, QueenMaker: Midwife of women’s unmanifested potentials!

 

How To Stay Connected With Me

Website: https://helenorombi.coachesconsole.com/

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