Hi Sister Queen Helen

How are you today?

I’m not sure if I mentioned this, but back in March, my landlady announced she was selling the building I live in. Then, two weeks ago, she took it off the market. This experience was extremely stressful and activated A LOT of my exiles. I have to admit, I noticed my managers and firefighters showing up to try and maintain control and order instead of operating from my powerful self—The Queenmaker.

For those who don't remember:

  • Exiles: Parts of the psyche that hold onto painful emotions, memories, or experiences. Exiles are often pushed into the background of consciousness because they contain emotions that are too overwhelming or distressing to handle.
  • Managers: Parts of the psyche that try to maintain control and protect the individual from experiencing the pain held by the exiles.
  • Firefighters: Parts of the psyche that emerge in response to overwhelming emotions or situations.
  • The Self: The core essence of the individual in IFS therapy.

Do You Identify with These Feelings?

Take a moment and ask yourself:

  • Do you often feel stressed or overwhelmed by your daily tasks and responsibilities?
  • Do you frequently worry about the future, leading to anxiety?
  • Do you find yourself procrastinating, despite knowing what you need to do?
  • Are you a perfectionist, always striving for an unattainable ideal, and feeling frustrated when you fall short?
  • Do you engage in self-sabotaging behaviors that prevent you from achieving your goals?

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you're not alone. Many people experience these feelings, which can hold them back from reaching their full potential. But there's hope—understanding why we get stuck and how to break free is the first step toward empowerment.

Imagine a Life Without These Barriers

What if you could wake up each day feeling calm, focused, and motivated? Imagine confidently tackling your to-do list, pursuing your goals without the weight of perfectionism, and living a life free from self-sabotage. This isn't just a dream—it's possible with the right approach and tools.

Why Do We Get Stuck? Exploring the Three Layers

Understanding why we get stuck involves diving into the first three key layers of my self-mastery blueprint:

Layer One: The Stress Response When we face challenges, our bodies often react with a stress response, triggering feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, and worry. This is our body's way of preparing to deal with perceived threats, but it can also paralyze us, making it hard to move forward.

Layer Two: Mean, Scary Self-Talk Underneath the stress response is a layer of negative self-talk. This internal dialogue tells us we're not good enough, we'll fail, or we don't deserve success. This mean, scary voice can be relentless and crippling.

Layer Three: Aversion to Feeling Beneath the negative self-talk is our deep aversion to feeling uncomfortable emotions. We avoid stress, anxiety, and fear at all costs, which can lead to procrastination, perfectionism, and self-sabotage. Instead of facing our emotions, we find ways to numb or avoid them, perpetuating the cycle of stuckness.

The Vicious Cycle of Stuckness

These three layers create a vicious cycle:

  1. Stress triggers negative self-talk.
  2. Negative self-talk amplifies our stress and anxiety.
  3. Our aversion to feeling these emotions leads to avoidance behaviors like procrastination and perfectionism.

This cycle keeps us stuck, preventing us from moving forward and achieving our goals. But there is a way out.

Breaking Free with EFT Tapping

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), or tapping, is a powerful tool that can help you break free from this cycle. EFT involves gently tapping on specific points on the body while focusing on your emotions and thoughts. This simple yet effective technique helps to:

  • Reduce the Stress Response: Tapping calms the body's stress response, lowering cortisol levels and promoting a sense of calm and relaxation.
  • Silence Negative Self-Talk: As you tap, you acknowledge and address your negative self-talk, allowing you to replace it with positive, empowering thoughts.
  • Embrace and Release Emotions: EFT helps you face and release uncomfortable emotions, breaking the habit of avoidance and allowing you to move forward with confidence.

By incorporating EFT tapping into your routine, you can quickly shift from feeling stuck to feeling empowered. It provides a practical, accessible way to manage stress, silence your inner critic, and embrace your emotions, paving the way for a more fulfilling, successful life.

Take the First Step Today

Here is a Facebook Live I did last week on releasing overwhelm

https://youtu.be/ZuMOBcne9Fg

 

Hit reply and I will send you the whole self-mastery blueprint

Be Magnificent SisterQueen

xox

 

Dr. Helena, The QueenMaker

 

Connect with me

Website: https://helenorombi.coachesconsole.com/

 Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/HelenAcenOrombi

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/438863857581998

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/becomingawomanofimpact

 

Here is a reading list if you are interested in exploring EFT tapping

"The Tapping Solution: A Revolutionary System for Stress-Free Living" by Nick Ortner

  • This book introduces readers to the basics of EFT and provides practical advice on how to use tapping to alleviate stress and improve overall well-being.

"The EFT Manual" by Gary Craig

  • Written by the founder of EFT, this comprehensive manual covers the core principles and techniques of tapping, making it a valuable resource for beginners and advanced practitioners alike.

"Tapping Into Ultimate Success: How to Overcome Any Obstacle and Skyrocket Your Results" by Jack Canfield and Pamela Bruner

  • Combining the expertise of motivational speaker Jack Canfield and EFT expert Pamela Bruner, this book offers strategies to use EFT for achieving personal and professional success.

"The Tapping Solution for Pain Relief: A Step-by-Step Guide to Reducing and Eliminating Chronic Pain" by Nick Ortner

  • Focusing specifically on pain management, this book guides readers through using EFT to address and alleviate chronic pain.

"The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss & Body Confidence: A Woman's Guide to Stressing Less, Weighing Less, and Loving More" by Jessica Ortner

  • This book targets issues related to weight loss and body confidence, providing women with tools to reduce stress and improve their self-image through tapping.

"EFT for Dummies" by Helena Fone

  • Part of the popular "For Dummies" series, this book offers an accessible introduction to EFT, with step-by-step instructions and practical examples.

"The EFT Tapping Revolution: Cure Anxiety, Stress, and More with the Emotional Freedom Technique" by J. Willmore

  • A concise guide that helps readers understand how to use EFT to address a variety of emotional and psychological issues.

"Tapping In: A Step-by-Step Guide to Activating Your Healing Resources Through Bilateral Stimulation" by Laurel Parnell

  • This book explores a related technique called bilateral stimulation, which complements EFT and enhances its effectiveness for healing.

"EFT and Beyond: Cutting Edge Techniques for Personal Transformation" edited by Peta Stapleton and Gael O'Connell

  • A collection of insights and advanced techniques from leading EFT practitioners, providing readers with a deeper understanding of how to use EFT for personal transformation.

"The EFT Manual (3rd Edition)" by Dawson Church

  • An updated edition of the classic EFT manual, offering the latest research, techniques, and applications of EFT from one of its leading proponents.