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Helen Happy September!
We’ve stepped into a brand-new month, and with it, the beginning of the final quarter of the year. September always feels like a threshold — a chance to pause, reflect, and realign with what matters most as we move toward the close of the year.
This is a time to ask yourself: What do I want to carry with me into this last quarter? And what do I want to release, so I can finish the year feeling rooted, whole, and aligned?
This is what emerged for me....
I usually take the last week of the month off for rest and integration. But since April, because of my work schedule, I neglected this self-care practice and structure. By the time I finally paused at the end of August, I was exhausted.
What I realized is this: when I don’t honor this rhythm, I slip back into an old caretaker identity — one that has been part of me since childhood. When my sister passed away, I was only 10 years old. My mom was nearly incapacitated with grief, and I began caring for my younger brothers. Later, that identity shaped me into a psychotherapist, and eventually a coach.
Being of service is deeply valuable to me. But without structures that include my own needs inside the circle of care, I fall into survival-based caretaking: tending everyone else and forgetting myself.
Taking that week off helped me reconnect to myself — my body, my feelings, my soul. I realized how much I missed me. I gained clarity about my business, and more importantly, I remembered that creating space to hear your body and soul is essential to living from alignment. Without it, we stay in stress response, reacting instead of responding.
From Selfish to Self-Honoring
For many women, self-care is framed as a bubble bath, a spa day, or a one-liner: “Self-care is not selfish.”
But if we’re honest, it’s not that simple.
For generations, women have been conditioned to put others first. To carry families, communities, even whole cultures on our backs. To measure our worth by how well we tend to everyone else’s needs.
That conditioning runs deep. So when we choose ourselves — when we take a day, a week, or even a moment for restoration — guilt often rises. The voice that says: “I should be doing more. I should be caring for them.”
Here’s the truth: that guilt isn’t proof you’re selfish. It’s proof of how entrenched the caretaker identity has been in our collective wiring.
The invitation is this: reframe self-care not as selfishness, but as self-honoring. Because when you include yourself in the circle of care, you’re not abandoning others. You’re dismantling the old story that says your worth is only in giving, and you’re creating a new possibility — one where your thriving becomes part of the whole.
Empowered care is not a luxury.
💫 It is resistance.
💫 It is reclamation.
💫 It is leadership.
Practical Strategy: Self-Care Inventory — What’s in Your Cup?
This week’s strategy is a simple but powerful exercise:
Many women pour so much into others that they neglect their own needs, leading to burnout. By tracking how your energy is spent and replenished, you create balance and prioritize what nourishes you.
Power Statement: “I fill my own cup first, knowing that I can only pour from a place of overflow.”
How to Practice:
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Track your energy for 3 days. Each evening, journal:
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Identify patterns. Notice your biggest energy leaks and your most consistent energy boosters.
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Make one change. Choose one thing to reduce or delegate (an energy leak) and one thing to add (an energy booster).
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Commit and share. Share your self-care commitment with a trusted friend, partner, or coach.
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Reflect. Notice how your energy shifts when you begin to refill your cup.
When we honor ourselves, we model for other women what it looks like to step out of guilt and into wholeness. And we show the next generation that love does not equal self-abandonment.
This week, I invite you to notice:
💫 Where are you still equating self-care with selfishness?
💫 And what would shift if you called it self-honoring instead?
Standing for Your Greatness!
Helen
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